“Ghosting” occurs when a person suddenly discontinues all contact with someone else without an explanation. Like a ghost, they just disappear without a trace. Ghosting is most often linked to romantic relationships and dating, but it can also refer to friendships and workplace relationships.
Ghosting has been increasingly common and well-known as the result of social media, technology, and dating apps. All of this has made ghosting an incredibly easy way to completely remove oneself from relationships without a single explanation.
For many people, ghosting is a quick solution for people. Having to have a potentially messy conversation can be stressful! For most people, the easy solution is to cut off contact, and to them, that is the clear message that somebody is no longer interested.
Let’s face it, it is almost too easy to stop chatting with someone who can only contact you through your phone, which you can quickly set to “Do Not Disturb,” or even block their number. It’s just as easy to meet someone new. There are so many dating apps currently available and they are so fast-paced. If one person isn’t a hit, it may seem like a waste to tell each and every person you are no longer interested.
The Impact of Ghosting and Mental Health
Though ghosting is something many people do, it can definitely have impacts on mental health. Many people that have been ghosted often feel rejected, abandoned, and confused. As a result, their self-esteem often takes a toll. Typically, the person that has been ghosted tries to make sense of the situation and feels a lack of closure and clarity. This can lead to mistrust in future relationships due to the rejection, abandonment, confusion, and low self-esteem. Ghosting can give a strong voice to a self-critical part of ourselves.
Something else to consider is that many people who have been the ghoster have admitted that they feel guilty about doing it. Many even admit it has more to do with themselves and not the person they are ghosting! Ghosting is incredibly convenient, most people find it much easier to cut off communication than to directly take accountability and have a potentially difficult conversation. It takes a lot of courage to have an open, direct conversation with someone about how you are feeling and what you want. There’s nothing easy about explaining to someone why you aren’t interested in them, but even just a sentence or two is better than nothing. Ask yourself this, Would you want somebody to ghost you? Probably not! Even something as simple as, “You are a great person, I just don’t think we are the best fit romantically” can give closure to the other person and give yourself that accountability to express how you feel.
If you have been ghosted, it is important that you don’t blame yourself and that you practice self-care. Though your pain is totally valid, remember to give yourself that self-love. Have a night out with your friends, tell yourself self-love affirmations, take yourself out to dinner, and remember that your worth is not defined by somebody who ghosted you. Know that you are fully loveable, just as you are.
