Sadness and grief are emotions we all have. We all feel those feelings from time to time, but they usually go away within a few days. Depression, however, is something more. Something I have experienced, as well. I’ve had clients ask me, “How do you know what I’m going through? How can you understand?” I can’t speak for every therapist, but I have an understanding of what Major Depression feels like.
A few years ago, I started facing roadblocks everywhere from outside factors and from myself – stopping me in my tracks and making it seemingly impossible to find any type of light. I was overwhelmed, panicking, irritable, and thought life surely wouldn’t go on. Everything I expected to happen, didn’t happen, and I crumbled into a severe depression. I couldn’t get up to go to work, stayed in bed all day, I shut myself away from others, and I thought there was no end to this in sight. To me, that was rock bottom. When you’re young and don’t know what’s happening in your head or why nothing is going right for you, it can be scary!
One day, something in me just clicked. It was almost like I saw the tiniest glimmer of hope that things could possibly improve in my life. That was enough for me to start climbing out of rock bottom. I immediately went online and contacted a therapist who specializes in Major Depression. To this day, I still see her weekly. Sometimes bi-weekly if I need it.
There is no shame in knowing when you need extra support.
When you face what feels to be the end of the world and make it through, you begin to realize that the world doesn’t actually end and life does go on. Depression itself then becomes less scary, even manageable. I think we all experience moments where we don’t know what’s next or we don’t know what to do and life feels overwhelming, but we always make it through. Even if we have our eyes closed and we’re screaming the whole time as if we are trying to make it through a haunted house.
You will always make it out the other side, no matter what jumps out and scares you. You are more resilient than you realize.
Life is a roller coaster for everyone. At times it can be incredible and others we’re experiencing our lowest lows. Learning how to work through those low moments is key. No matter how hard or how painful, know that it will pass. Learning techniques through therapy that work best for you to face those moments is a different process for everyone and will take trial and error, but will help improve your life.
Finding confidence, happiness, peace and positivity within yourself is priceless.
Trust that true happiness and peace comes from working on yourself and working towards becoming the best self you can be. It may be uncomfortable. It may be painful. That is normal and is also important in order for you to confront and resolve your struggles. Don’t give up and don’t push it away, push through it! It may seem like a long road, but please do not lose hope. Know that this is a process and it takes time.
To answer my client’s question, “How do you know what I’m going through? How can you understand?” Well, everyone including therapists have struggles they need to work through. Going through extreme depression myself, I understand what it’s like, and I’m here for you. I believe my own experience has made me a better therapist to help others going through similar struggles.
Even if your therapist hasn’t experienced depression, they can absolutely relate in other ways from their own struggles. A good therapist has – and is – still working on their mental health, utilizing therapy and the same skills they teach their clients. We’re here to help you find your own light within yourself. I know it’s there because I’m an example of how therapy helped me find mine. It’s always been there. We can find it for you too.
Be gentle with yourself and everyone around you. Be kind. Forgive yourself and others. Be brave. Believe in the light that exists in you. Whenever you need it, come back to this letter to remind yourself that from the darkness the sun will rise again in the morning. It will always rise.
“I don’t pay attention to the world ending. It had ended for me many times and began again in the morning.” – Nayyirah Waheed, Poet
