We all experience moments when we are worried about the future. We often worry about our finances, career, family, friends, or our health. Anxiety about the future is normal, and is actually helpful to a certain extent. If we didn’t worry about the future – we would never plan ahead! Sometimes, this type of worrying can become too much and start to overpower our thoughts. This is when we can look towards using tools to help decrease our anxiety and learn how to stop what if thinking.
Anxiety is an intrusive emotion as it changes the way we think. For example, it is very normal for a high school senior to be worried about which college they will go to in the coming year.
However, overactive anxiety can promote ‘what if’ thinking. What if I never get into any college at all? What if I flunk out of college? What if I’ll never get hired at a job after college? What if I pick the wrong major? While this type of thinking initially feels helpful, it actually increases our anxiety over time.
Rumination about “what if” scenarios can lead to increased anxiety, which if prolonged, takes a toll on our physical and mental health.
The opposite of anxious, future-oriented thinking, is mindful thinking. Mindful thinking is the concept of being in the present moment, describing what is going on without judgement. For example, instead of thinking ‘what if I never get a job’, we can re-frame our thinking instead to ‘In this moment, I just applied to a job. I feel good about this accomplishment!’, or ‘At this moment I don’t have employment, and I’m taking steps to get there’. Mindfulness helps remind us that we’re safe in this moment, and casting worries and judgement about the future is not helpful to us.
Learn how to stop what if thinking moments head on. Take a moment to pause, take a step back, identify the worry that fills you and then respond to that question. If that outcome occurs, I will find a way to handle it. It hasn’t happened yet, therefore I will not worry about it unless it comes. By re-framing the situation to focus on the present moment instead of the future, we can handle any stressor one step at a time.
One mindful thought at a time can slowly start to shift our mindset in a forward direction.
By using mindfulness and other Dialectical Behavior Therapy tools, we can learn how to stop what if thinking patterns and decrease our anxiety to help us live in the present moment.
“What if I fall? Oh, but my darling, what if you fly!” – Erin Hanson and Winnie the Pooh
